


Life of Roxy

by Sixaola



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 14:00:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5629072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sixaola/pseuds/Sixaola
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Roxy Lalonde and this is your 5,922 day living in the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life of Roxy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Confection](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Confection/gifts).



Your name is Roxy Lalonde and this is your 5,922 day living in the future.

Most of your days are spent roaming around your carapacian-populated house, reading your mother's books and drinking your mother's booze.  
Apparently, she was loaded enough from the publishing of her books, she had no problem stocking nearly an entire room with alcohol. There was no way she could have drank all of those drinks by herself, so you like to think that she left it for you.

You are currently waking up from an alcohol-induced slumber on your plush pile. There's no better place to nurse a hangover than a warm, comfy pile of cute pink kittens.

==>Roxy: Get out of your plush pile

What? Right now?

==> Yes, right now

But the pile is especially cozy this morning.  
Or is it evening already? Sometimes it's hard to keep track of the date and time when the only other person living at the same time doesn't care all that much either.  
It's not like you can't message your friends whenever you feel like it, anyway.

==> Get out of the pile!

But you don't feel like doing anything right now!

==> There's a martini chillin' next to your computer

You get the sudden urge to get out of your pile, after all, who are you to ignore a delicious looking beverage that is just begging to be drank?

Clumsily due to your recent alcohol consumption, you emerge from the coziness of the plush wizards. The tiles of the floor are cold and send a shudder through your spine when you start to walk towards your desk bare-feet.  
You take the glass, and thoughtfully gaze out the window for a dramatic effect. Too bad there's no one here to appreciate your photo-worthy stance.

You take a few sips, and relax after the feeling of the liquid both refreshing and burning your throat.

Your pals have once or twice showed concern about your drinking, and while it made you warm with affection, you couldn't stop the churning feeling at the pit of your stomach, they wouldn't understand.  
Speaking of pals, it's been a while since you had contact with a certain orange-texted anime douchebag.

You open pesterchum.

 

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] started pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

TG: heyy distri  
TG: wit u dion  
TG: *doin  
TT: Hey Rox, kinda wondering what you could have been busy enough with to be idle for  
TT: 11 hours.  
TG: omfg was I aslep 4 dat long?!  
TG: *asleep  
TG: i guess the ol mama juice knoked me harder dis time.  
TG: *kncked  
TG: **knocked  
TT: It seems it has, I was starting to get a bit worried, you know.  
TT: Very rude to leave guy hanging.  
TG: pffft liek u mind  
TG: watcha up to  
TT: Well, remember I mentioned that Jane could use some protection against the assassination attempts?  
TG: ya  
TT: I thought, hey, why the fuck do I not build something and send it to her.  
TT: So that's what I did, I designed a guardian to keep her safe until the whole game business starts. I still need a few parts, but it'll be ready soon enough.  
TG: o distri  
TG: u alwas the charmer arent ya  
TG: ;)  
TT: Quiet the contrary, Rox. I just want to make sure we are all prepared when all hell lets loose.  
TT: You and Jake can fight, you have done it before.  
TT: Jane, on the other hand, has never had to depend on battle skills for survival. She is always protected by someone else, so I would rather be sure she is still gonna have protection after we enter the game.  
TT: We have things to do in the game, quests to complete, and worlds to unlock. We won't be able to protect her all the time, but she won't be in danger.  
TT: Eventually, she will be able to take care of herself. This is just an ‘until then’.  
TT: Also, we are all, and I quote; ‘bffies’.  
TG: aw hell ye we r.  
TG: tho mayby things r gettin a lil spicy for ya hm  
TG: wink wink  
TT: I have no idea what you're taking about.  
TT: If anything, spice is what is lacking up in here.  
TT: My plate remains with as little condiment as possible, yo. The cook approaches me with confusion slapped in his face.  
TT: “Excuse me, sir, wouldn't you rather have something more flavored?”  
TT: “Why thanks, James, for your concern on the mild, almost nonexistent spicing, but I must decline your offer, for I am not in fact, a seasoning type of man.”  
TT: Later that night, James the cook admires my easily satisfied taste.  
TG: blah blah strider blabbering  
TG: I get it man u kep it in ya pants damn  
TG: *kpe  
TG: **kep  
TG: ***FUCk  
TG: i bet i could get ya to take em off ;o  
TT: Of course you could, if you poured inflamable substances on my crotch and then threw a lighter.  
TG: k k ill leave u alon damn  
TG: *alone lol  
TT: I have some things to take care of anyway.  
TT: Bye Rox, we’ll talk later.  
TG: get outta here.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

With that, you can check ‘daily Strider monologue’ from your list of things for today. Now, you will continue with the next point, which oh look at that, it's getting another drink.

Swiftly you exit your room and walk through the halls of your house. The walls are decorated with pictures of CotL, mighty wizards, and some less mighty and more attractive wizards, added by you.  
When you pass next to a drawing of Calmasis, you can't help but admire all the features and details of it. This one was always your favorite, not only because it isn't as gloomy and serious as the other pictures, but because it was drawn by your mom herself.  
Of course she would have, after all, even if her artistic skills weren't as graceful as her writing, she knew words aren't the only way of showing a character.

When you reach the booze cave -as you like to call it- you grab a clean martini glass and pour yourself some of the delicious liquor.

You decide it's time to check on your kittens. It's been at least three days since you were down there, and even more since you last worked on your cloning.  
Besides, even if your cats have enough water and food down there, you like to feed them yourself too.

While sipping your drink, you enter the lab and admire the little feline army you created.  
You pet and scratch as many as you can, but today you want to clone some more, just for the sake of science.

Yeah, science, and because they are painfully adorable with their small wet noses and their shiny eyes and soft fur.

You take some of the gooey paradox slime from your appearifier and get to work. Gathering some fresh slime, you decide to mix it with some you already have in your sylladex.  
Grabbing the slime bottle, you swing it over your head a bit, and then roughly smash it against the tiles of the lab. That is one of the main reasons you picked the bottle sylladex. Who doesn't like smashing things anyway?

When the slime is all nice and mixed, you turn the appearifier on, and watch as a small mutant kitten pops out. It has soft, black fur and four milky eyes. It stares at you blankly, and you can't help but coo at how adorable it is.  
This is probably one of the smallest kittens you've ever cloned, it must be that old slime you mixed in.  
You gently take it in your arms, and search for any mutation, aside from the abnormal quantity of eyes.  
Everything appears to be in order, so now you must pick a name for your latest addition to the lab.  
You've used any name you could think of by now, from objects to countries, seasons, adjectives and even the most common names, but lately you've been using ingredients and dishes, since Jane has been rambling a lot lately about some recipes she found while snooping through the cabinets of her kitchen.

What was the last eatable thing she mentioned? Something about pasta? You remember it even sounded like the word ‘pasta’.

Pesto! That must be it.

Well, little kitty, you are now Pesto.  
You scratch behind Pesto’s ear, making him purr softly in your hands, remembering that once Jane told you that stupid rule from a movie Jake wanted her to watch; “Enjoy the little things”.

And so, you do.

~~~

You are now back in your room, and although it looks way messier than it did before, you feel comfort and sleep wash over your body.  
Plopping down on your un-made bed, you cover your chilled body with your blankets.  
Pesto is cuddled in your arms, you usually never bring cats out from the lab, but since it's this little guy’s first day alive, why the hell not.  
Besides, you like sleeping with something other than your plushies.

When everything is done, and you can feel yourself slowly drifting to sleep, you can't help but to gaze out your crooked window.  
The water is way darker now, and so is the sky, freckled with stars. 

You think of the past, and of every event that lead to your house to be in the middle of an endless water apocalypse.  
Of all the dangers that threaten you, and the ones that will be added to the list soon. Of the hundreds of bottles laying around you all the time, and how you wish you were able to resist the temptation to chug at them when you're sad and missing your mom.

You think of how you can miss someone you've never really met, you guess it doesn't matter as long as the game promises you will sometime.

But mostly, you think about your friends, how they are not so much your friends since they are closer to being family, and how you would do anything for them. It fills you with pride to know they would do the same for you without hesitation. You think about how you can't wait to meet them, to touch another human being, and to hear their voices rather than the muffled, static-like sound that comes from your speakers. You think of becoming less invisible.

You think of your heart.  
You think of life.  
You think of hope.


End file.
